Coronavirus and Me

Tuesday, 17 March 2020

**Disclaimer, I wrote this at 2am in the height of panic. It just proves the fact, writing things down, really does help! Xx

The dreaded C word. It’s everywhere. On the news, on social media, in our WhatsApp chats, in our heads... I for one know it’s been whirling around my little brain like a bee none stop, and no matter what I do to distract myself from it, I always just seem to end up in a little frenzy about it.
I know I don’t have a big following on here but none the less, I wanted to share my thoughts because if there’s one thing I’ve learnt through years of battling with my mental health, it’s writing things down can help solve the tangled web of anxiety that’s getting knotted up in your brain.

I started off this whole ordeal with a very naive mind set. “We’ll all be fine, it’s only the flu” safe to say, I am now terrified. I feel like I’m literally living in a film, and while one of my many aims In my career is to be in a film, this is NOT one I want to star in. To feel utterly helpless, uninformed and constantly worried is a strange feeling. While it gives me peace knowing we’re all in this together, I’m still trying to workout what we’re actually all ‘in’.

Like everyone, I’m trying to put a positive spin on self isolation, but the fact of the matter is, we have to leave the house to get food if nothing else. This in its self is starting to cause an anxiety I have never felt before. I absolutely will go and do the shop instead of letting my parents go, but what if there’s no food?! While I understand the panic brought to the country, not everyone has stock piled meaning people are now without. How far is this going to go? I know toilet roll has been almost a joke, but genuinely what if we just can’t get anymore. It’s blows my mind!

I’m not even going to start on the fact I’m currently out of work, I understand its necessary to stay away from pubs, restaurants and theatres, but without the government officially closing them, we’re all left in an unemployed mess not knowing what to do. I have contacted temp agencies, but do I really want to put myself in office conditions with this in the aircon? It’s making me second guess every decision I have to make. In terrified I’ll bring something home, I’m scared for my older father and my high risk group mother, I’m scared for my baby nephew, my aunt still receiving medical treatment, my friends mother, grandparents, relatives and friends. I’ve never felt so helpless and I hate there’s nothing I can do.

I’m sure, and hope and pray, this will all get easier as we all become more informed and learned about the current situation, and must keep a trust in the government that though we might not agree with every decision, their plan will work. But for now, I, like everyone else, an terrified.

So let’s all stay strong together. Keep updated, don’t overload yourself with media, look after your mental health and wash your hands. If you made it through this mad rambling, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Look after yourself and stay safe.

Thank you as always for reading,
Love Rosie xxx

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